Jerry, you need to find god
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
