eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
