Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
