smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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