you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize