I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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