Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize