It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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