Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
