Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
