we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
