First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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