the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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