Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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