Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
