Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
