I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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