season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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