they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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