I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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