Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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