Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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