The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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