you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
