Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
