i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
