sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize