the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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