you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
