ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
