his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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