I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ok first of all what the fuck
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
