Whod you bang
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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