Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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