help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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