Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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