wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
People in love make me want to vomit
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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