M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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