I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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