What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
