I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
