if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am naked and annoyed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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