Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it penis luge time yet?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
