Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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