bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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