i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
