It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
