i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
