I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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