its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
