put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
