google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
