I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
