Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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