carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
