what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
