Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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