The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
