Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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