I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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