I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
