im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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