Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
