dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
FUCK WHALES
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