wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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